


The Other Side

by Erinti



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Meddling Valar, No Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erinti/pseuds/Erinti
Summary: As we all know, Feanor forged Silmarills and after the assassination of his father decided to chase Morgoth. We know about The Oath and its terrible consequences. But what about Noldor who remained in Tirion, the other side? How Valar appraised actions of whole family and what happened next? We know Finarfin was forgiven but was that unconditional? Slight AU possible.





	1. Snowy Mountains

Nimwen has always been different than other Noldo. Her passion and interest were related to poetry and books and not crafts, sculpture and metalwork. By nature, she became closer to Vanyar, so often considered as 'poets with little knowledge about life'. Nimwen, however as pale and sensitive elleth, understood them better. She felt safest in a warm safety of the great Library, especially since she has been hiding a secret. Barely anyone was aware of it, including siblings. She developed loving relationship with older brother and sister, even if they have only few common interests.

As a craftsman's daughter she was expected to help parents in their duties. Nimwen however, was a complete klutz when it comes to any handwork. Her mother, skilled embroideress, tried hard to learn her how to treat the material gently. Lessons maybe do not end up in the ultimate disaster, however results were hardly satisfactory. Parents themselves began to encourage her to read, not wanting her lack of skills lead to destruction of supplied goods. It was then she discovered passion for reading and learning. She was born in a happy, peaceful time when everyone believed in a bright future.

Melkor, the first Dark Lord, was imprisoned somewhere in the Halls of Mandos. Elves largely lived in the Undying Lands, whereas those who chose to remain the Middle-Earth lived in a relative peace and harmony. Nothing more dangerous than wandering beasts threatened them. Only Queen Melian of Doriath knew about sinister and dark creatures of Angband. She remembered that Dark Vala caused destruction of the Almaren and doubt if peace and safety would last forever. Barely no one the Middle-Earth, knew about her former friendship with Dark Vala, but if Melkor was imprisoned cannot threat them!

Nimwen was born in the same time when Noldorian Prince, Fëanor wedded Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan. Huge debate proceed marriage of his father, Finwë the High King of Noldor, with princess Indis of Vanyar. The whole Tirion was discussing if it is even right for the elf to have a second wife. Finwë was granted a special permission from the Valar, but elves were still concerned. To make matters worse, Fëanor, the firstborn son of the king, spoken against father's plans in public. The discussion between them must have been tough as gossip about storm spread very quickly. No one, and certainly Nimwen not suspect how their fate will one day related.

The weeding of Fëanor and Nerdanel were accompanied by no less attention than the union of the king Finwë and Indis. Mahtan descended from non-royal family, however belonged to the inner circle of Aulë's household as the student of Vala. Such position made him a person greatly appreciated by the Noldorian society with a status lower only that a royal kindred. Only the High King of Elves, Ingwë, called refer to him as "the parvenu". Unkind words quickly reached red-haired, hot-tempered man. Mahtan had rather poor opinion of the High King and got went mad. The fuss almost ended to the breaking the engagement and huge scandal.

Indis, mild and gentle queen, trying to love her stepson despite his apparent reluctance, gave a helping hand. She visited angry Nerdanel trying to calm down elleth offended by words of Ingwë. Being raised in the household of Aulë and Yavanna, she was taught to judge according to hard work and talents but not number of princes in the family. Her father was respected among their people by his skills and position of Disciple of Aulë. Nerdanel considered herself as the daughter of talented and hard-working father not "the commoner" unworthy to talk with Fëanor as Ingwë suggested.

'My stepson loved you very much. He needs you'- said Indis – 'I believe this feeling is mutual'

'Indeed, my lady' – answered Nerdanel – 'I love Fëanor with all my heat, however your uncle.'

'Don't be afraid and listen to your heart. I did the same long time ago when married my beloved Finwë. We are living happily ever after. Together with my handmaidens I will help you with necessary preparations'

'Thank you for your generous offer, however I will be given anything required from my household. It would be a great offense not to accepts jewels and flowers from my place'

'I see'- said Indis – 'My family did the same for me. Will your father find a time for preparation? Mine got neither skills no time'

'Do not underestimate him my lady'

'There is no need to call my lady if you are going to be my daughter'

'Shall I call you mother then? Make a wish and I will obey. Are we going to live in your place?

'We will see Nerdanel'

The discussion between stepmother to Fëanor and daughter to Mahtan was widely commented. Fëanor has already presented violent and possible dangerous traits of characters. No one managed to predict the dreadful end to come. Both Finwë and Indis considered marriage as the best solution for the impetuous prince. Union with the appropriate woman may help to hold his temper. Wise Nerdanel hold such promise. She was an elleth of strong will and dark-haired elf needed a strong hand, something his father never deliver to him.

The red-haired elleth was able to keep him company both in a forge and discussion. Evan as a child, she took a chisel and carving. Assistants of Aulë provided her with a special, small tools matching child's palms. No wonder she gained proficiency in handwork, which made Fëanor to admiration her. After all, their first meeting took place when Finwë asked Mahtan for tuition.

'It is unusual for the elleth to work with chisel'- he said slowly – 'in most cases they prefer to change their cloths'

'You must be talking with a boring maidens'- she answered with a smile – 'or maybe visiting wrong places. Are you going to be a pupil of my father?'

'Pupil? Why do you think so?'

'Just a guessing game'- she giggled looking at him carefully. Her brown eyes showed some interest ='Many clients of us are either willing to order goods or get training. I am Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan'

'I am Fëanor, son of High King Finwë'- he answered – 'my father indeed wants me to learn more about forging' – he explained quite astonished she did not curtsy.

'I see, my father informed us during yesterday's dinner. Have you ever tried to work with metal?'

'Few times only'- he explained – 'Metals are so interesting and full of possibilities. I want to learn more. Do you anything about forging Nerdanel?'

'Yes, but craving is my real passion. I know how to work with metals and gems, you won't believe me but as elfing I used to have my own, small tools'

'Unbelievable!'- Fëanor became really interested in a red-haired elleth.

They have no idea, that fathers were looking at them carefully. Finwë started his silent prayers to thank Eru for a young elleth able to his stubborn son's attention. Mahtan remained calm, as he decided not to interfere with his daughter decisions. Fëanor was no better or worse than other young elf. He agreed to tutor son of the High King and encourage Nerdanel to spend time with him. In coming years, he bitterly regretted this decision.

Niemen was born in a warm, charming night. During better times of peace and happiness in Valinor, all nights were like that. She was the youngest child and second daughter born in a family of craftsmen. They name her Nimwen, which means "white" as she seemed paler than other babies. She was healthy as everyone in Aman, and blesses with a complexion of an alabaster. Her mother and relatives were excited with her delicacy but less with more and more leans clumsiness.

Even as a child, she loved reading books, listening to songs accompanied with an uncommon for Noldor clumsiness. Parents have never allowed her to carve in order to prevent accident. Mother taught the art of embroidery, but eventual results were considered only as satisfactory. It was her father who talked with a friend from Vanyar about her later education. He was painfully aware that Nimwen in a forge is a serious threat for everyone including herself, but might master other arts. Love towards books and singing make her ideal student for Vanyar and may become a tutor or bookkeeper one day?

'I will welcome her in our place at the slope of Taninquentil'- said Vanyarin elf – 'My close friend is a teacher. Young members of our Kindred are his students, but I am sure he will welcome Noldo with open heart. He is upset with all of those stories about "closed" Vanyar and "practical" Noldor. There is no reason to become divided'

Nimwen, excited about new places, wasn't sure if he wants to leave the family home. Tall, blond elf was speaking in such a cordial, softly voice that deep trust seemed natural. 'I am goind to see cities and houses of other kindred'- she said, unaware of how this decision will change her life. The vision of the great library filled with books or artists painting gardens convinced her more than vision of forges or workshops considered generally as attractive.

From the very first moments she understood the difference between Noldor and "Light-elves" called "Blind" by those less polite. Mutual relations between High King of elves, Ingwë, High King and Fëanor has never been cordial and has become even hostile after Fëanor wedded Nerdanel. No one really knows who started the conflict. The visibly cold and almost hostile attitude of the firstborn son of Finwë towards his stepmother was certainly adding fuel to the fire. Ingwë was not aware to stand criticism toward his close relative, Indis. Since ages, Finwë has disliked Vanya and refer to him as "mocking pompous fool" and his pomposity. Knowing that Ingwë is very proud form "sitting at the feet of Manwë " he made numerous jokes out of it. 'Dear cousin, have you ever checked if anyone is sitting on the throne? Remind me if I am wrong, but Elder King is not invisible'. During one of the celebrations, Ingwë decorated his head with a huge, richly decorated, crown. The whole crown resembled rays coming out of the head, but Finwë asked loudly: 'No one is wearing his horn so openly in public, except our Highest King. Are corridors of the palace corridors wide enough for the Highest Prongs of Elves? '

Ingwë went red in anger and called Finwë the bigamist. It seemed to be a matter of time when harsh discussion end as a fight. Indis acted quickly to prevent this, as quickly as she always need to act when those two met. They never have been friends, but Ingwë harsh words summarizing Fëanor's behavior has put his father into defense position. He let no one to criticize his firstborn, but even though, for Indis, he was eager to change the whole situation. Proud Ingwë refused, could forget calling him a "Highest Prongs of Elves". He considered everyone, including Finwë, as minor and work hard to develop etiquette. He was left almost alone, when Manwë removed him from his closest circle and do not consider him as the Disciple anymore. Ingwë indeed loved title of the Highest King above everyone and everything else, but was also right about Fëanor.

Nimwen has heard several stories from Vanyar. They seemed to suffer from time to time because of the Ingwë's moods, but in most cases their leader was sitting at the highest peaks of Taninquentil and talking to the air. The remaining Vanyar seemed different than him: much more cheerful, mature and wise. She loved their company and consider years with them as probably best time of her life. She was so naïve and innocent then!

The Vanyarin households were different from those by Noldor. Even architecture was touched by their love towards light. Wooden, spacious houses seemed empty in the eye of non-Vanyar. All chambers got large windows and ceiling decorated with a motifs of light. They prefer simple decoration to complicated sculptures and tapestry by Noldor. All rooms were furnished only in the most necessary equipment due to saving spaces and light and not poverty. In Nimwen's opinion such emptiness was weird but not unpleasant.

Floors of the day rooms were covered with carpets. Both younger and older members of the family or a group were sitting on a fluffy carpet with book or scroll. Except for reading and writing they love discussing, while drinking a glass of wine or tea. Even kids were encouraged to participate and were provided with a juice. Nimwen was asked to tell more about customs of Noldor. Her introduction was proceed by long discussion if open and lightly furnished houses are practical and comfortable. Even the youngest were allowed to speak, no opinions were forbidden unless justified. Who start screaming and try to upset the opponent were banished from the discussion. For young Vanyar such punishment was severe as no kids played with someone who "don't know how to speak".

It was then she felt in love in a long discussions. They talked about almost every topic, even really abstraction. Most Noldor consider such behavior as the waste of time, as crafting or metalwork were better choice. Nimwen felt opposite and dwelt in the house of old, noble, Vanyarian teacher together with other kids. Most of the time they sit in the largest, dining room or in a garden.

'Your daughter fit us well'- elf told her father – 'she is hardworking and open minded, more than most Noldor I must admit'

'Me and my wife are happy to let Nimwen stay here. She is a total klutz when it comes to handwork. I feel safe when she is far away from any workshop or forge. I consider path of teacher or scholar as much better for her. Can I stay for a while and listen tu your discussion?'

He welcomed Nimwen cheerfully, wanted for his daughter nothing but a group she considers as close friends. She developed normal relations with girls from the neighborhood, but belonged here. In that times elves were somehow united, even if relations between Fëanor, Ingwë and Finwë were getting worse.

'You are radiating'- said father –' do not forget to visit us soon, mother baked an fruit pie'

'Even the slopes of Taninquentil can be sweeter than mama's baked goods'

'I am fully aware of your mother skills'- smirked teacher –' but come back soon, as the vivid soul of Noldor is priceless for the discussion'

'I am not going to leave you for long'- she promised.

She fulfilled her promise and came back few days after. Nimwen loved her relatives, but in the company of Vanyar felt the level of understanding inaccessible anywhere else. She belonged here and that was her group and nothing could be better than discussions accompanied with a tasty pie and juice. As an adult she changed juice into wine, but still loved talking. Maybe one day she will become a teacher?

In that time, she was more concentrated on the present not future. Gossips were really interesting and regardless common misconceptions Vanyar loved gossip, even if prefer music and poetry to gossip.

'Would you like to see a snow Nimwen'- she was asked this question when come back from her parents place.

'The snow?'

'Yes, snow haven't you seen a white snow? Have you ever played with snowballs'- asked one of the students – 'If so, you missed a great fun. Nevertheless, it is not lost'!

Soon after they went on a walk to the higher parts of the mountain. Nimwen quickly realized why they were asked to bring coats with them. Never before she has felt a cold, as snow was extremely rare phenomena in the Undying Lands. Icy winds were unpleasant experience for young elleth, but she was also excited. Her long, black hair with a delicate shade of blue looked very different from the whiteness nearby.

Snowy forest resembled a place from a fairy tales. The white snow shine with a countless color in the light of Two Trees. Nimwen got impression as if gems were spread around, which lead her to touch a snow with a bare hand. Large, majestic trees resembled those from Vanyar gardens but looked so bizarre covered in a snow not leaves! The whole place was no shiny, that eyes almost hurts. Light was ubiquitous in Aman, but this forest was the brightest.

Pathway covered with snow seemed alien when compare to those known to Nimwen. The overall lightness was so amazing, pristine and pure that almost overwhelming. Such impression probably leads Vanyar to become so obsessed with a light.

'Let's build a caste'

Nimwen liked the idea. Her maternal aunt was living in Alqualondë, beautiful coastal city. She spent a lot of time with her cousins on a beach on swimming and of course playing. They built the whole city using the sand and later develop the whole history of its inhabitants. Nimwen liked the sea but not as much as Teleri. She used to visit them from time to time and enjoyed their company but not as much as the company of Vanyar. Still she preferred talking about horizon and miracles of the water domain to all of those practical works of Noldor. Years later she was discussing if maybe Noldorian love towards craft and metal made them targets for the Dark Lord.

She took her place on a snow and helped companions with w castle. They really froze during their activities but no one grumbled. Building a snow caste was a great exercise for the imagination and some

'How about terrace here?'- asked companion.

'No'- she answered – 'it will make the whole building unstable. Let's put terrace somewhere in the middle. The caste's inhabitants may meet here to talk'

'It looks nicer here!'

'Yes, but this is not good for a building!'

They spend almost an hour discussing where is the best place to insert terrace. Both sides presented strong arguments and eventually castle were left unfinished. Elves were less sensitive towards cold than humans, buy even though they were cold. The cup of hot chocolate seemed the best solution and ending of such wonderful day!

'I feel like warm wine'- said Nimwen.

'No chance, we are still kids in their eyes. It's getting colder'

They start discussion about proms and cons of wine and chocolate and failed to notice two figures looking at them carefully. The mysterious creatures covered faces and seemed unspecific in a long, dark coats. It was not unusual to protect head from the icy winds, but those strangers were only looking but not trying to join elves.

Nimwen got impression they were not in a snowy forest. She was sure that someone was looking, even if she explained why she felt that. The impression seemed weird but not scary, as what can be scary on the slope of Taninquentil? Maybe other elves also decided to built a snow castle?

Author's note: the idea of the Disciples of Valar is my own, however I personally believe such elves might be treated with a great respect among their kindred in Valinor. Secondly, as you may notice I really dislike Ingwë. He was one of those characters I couldn't stand: "sitting at the feet of Manwë" for the whole eternity? Really, is it so great and honorable to be an pouffe (By the way Manwë, you were described as the good one. Using poor elf as a pouffe is not a good action!)? I will find a perfect place for him in the palace

'Everyone who enters this place for the very first time, got impression the forest itself is looking'- explained on of the companion –'it is nothing but illusion, unless someone from the palace is walking nearby'- he pointed some place in the sky –' there is no reason to be scared'

'The palace?' – Nimwen asked.

'I will pretend you haven't asked me a question'- asked the elf –'the mountain does not belong to elves, but we were allowed to settle here. The snowy forest is the highest place accessible for us all. You can't walk higher without the invitation. Higher'- again he pointed light point somewhere higher –'beyond snows and everything else marvelous palace is located, where King and Queen of Valar dwell. This is a place of everlasting spring and light is everywhere'

'Maybe we can continue when back home? I'm freezing'

'Let's go and ask our teacher to tell more about the palace'

They were getting cold and decided to come back. They had became so cold, that even did not comment Nimwen's lack of knowledge about the palace. However, when they are back, that are going to discuss. Everyone living with Vanyar need to possess a basic knowledge!

The happy and peaceful time of living and studying with Vanyar was coming to an end. It made Nimwen sad, as she dreamed about staying here forever. Maybe one day she would become a teacher and spend more time with peaceful elves so deep in love with poetry and discussions? She was happy with an idea of working with children. Her sister-in-law has recently had birth to a young girl which made Nimwen very proud.

'I have visited the Library'- he announced one day – 'I mean, the Library in the palace".

Nimwen asked no more questions. She knew what "palace" he referred to, as friends told her numerous stories about Taninquentil and why Vanyar decided to settle here. 'We felt in love in this place in the very first sight. King and Queen of Valar allowed us to settle here. At the beginning, they used to invite us to their palace quite often and teach before… before the misunderstandings happened'. The votive of elf went very sad every time he was speaking about past events. Nimwen realized it must have had a lot of to do with past mistakes.

After a longer period of time, and several glasses of wine, he explained it was Ingwë who initiated misunderstandings. At the beginning, Valar considered elves as young creatures seeking knowledge. As "Older ones" as they call themselves, they invited elfings to teach about poetry and spiritual knowledge. Vanyar become interested in a poetry and arts more than others thanks to Manwë and Varda teachings. Valar also decided to choose Disciple or Mentees who would later deliver knowledge to his/her kin.

Ingwë was the first one selected, but this decision was a mistake. Elf was astonished and happy to be selected by Manwë himself and become very proud. He started to considered himself as special being supreme and maybe even higher than other elves. When his mentor invited him to the palace, other elves named him as "The Highest King of Elves". It was a disaster and eventually turned Ingwë into proud, unpleasant and rude creature. He remained in palace, but not as the Disciple. It didn't bother him as he was still a High King and was spending hours on developing pompous speeches. Such behavior made Manwë even more irritated and as the results Elder King barely speak to his former Disciple. Moreover, both Manwë and Varda became more suspicious and less eager to invite elves to their place.

Ingwë's love for titles for the very first time made relation between Valar and elves colder and more formal. It was then Powers realize, that posture of distant and terrifying Lords seems to work efficiently. 'The Younger Ones' – as they called elves need to realize Valinor is ruled by Valar not them. Ingwë was not the only one to misuse teachings, but fortunately he did nothing but talking.

Young Nimwen heard about actions of Ingwë. She used to dream about entering the Library in the Palace at the highest peak of Taninquentil. What can be closer to heaven than visiting a place where all the books and scrolls are collected. But is it even possible for her to visit the Library?

'Theoretically it is possible- he explained – 'The King and Queen of Valinor sometimes allow elves to reach their Library only if consider plea as reasonable'

'How can my plea be reasonable?'

'Difficult to say, but if you seek knowledge for a better understanding of our world tell it in your plea. Please keep in mind to never under no circumstances even try to impress them. Valar tend to ask you're the same question in a slightly different way and become upset if notice the difference'

'I see, but is it even possible for me to see?'

'To see a wonders of the Library?' – he answered with a smile – 'my dear Nimwen, from time to time I am given an invitation to a Palace. Moreover, I am also allowed to take my most promising pupils with me. I chose you among others, so you can deliver your plea personally'

She was thrilled but also scared. Valar were noble and powerful beings that should not be bother with minor issues. The idea of talking to them seem impossible and even maybe not appropriate. To make matters worse, she had no idea about etiquette! How to behave? Which dress to wear? She became even paler than usual: scared but also interested.

'But how it that possible? How should I?'

'Ah, I see you are not sure how to behave? Not sure about etiquette? - he asked – 'First of all do not kneel. Just don't do it regardless heavy urge. Valar are ruling our world but do not require such gestures. Secondly do not speak unless asked. Answer every question sincerely and according to your best knowledge. Do not try to make impression of being wise and exceptional. Lastly do not use fancy titles, simply end each sentence with "Lord" of "Lady". Is it clear?

'Which dress should I choose?' – she asked dramatically.

Elf laughed, seeing the whole situation as hilarious. He was one of the oldest and wisest Vanyar, but despite common conceptions not insensitive for a pleasures of life. Actually he was happy to see his student interested in clothes, as he never wanted Nimwen to become miserable woman not willing to enjoy life. He remembered old times, when Valar welcomed elves as younger members of the family in Aman. Now situation is different, but from time to time he was granted an invitation to the palace. Before Fëanor started his rebellion and hurt so many, Valar used to invite elves to their places to talk with them or teach. It was not as open as the beginning, but still not as cold and formal as later.

He chose Nimwen due to many reasons. Firstly, he really believed such visit maybe extremely beneficial for her. Secondly she was a Noldor, the same Kindred as fiery Fëanor speaking openly against Valar. Old Vanyar was experienced and wise, some people refer to his as clairvoyant, and managed to see possible results of uprising. Every opportunity is great to show that elves in fact are living in harmony with each other and other inhabitants of Aman, regardless very bad relations of Ingwë and Fëanor. Shiny eyes of young elleth made him sure he made a right choice.  



	2. Meetings and princes

Young elleth got no clue about customs and behavior of Valar. She has seen them several times during most important Festival, but back them they were siting and looking down at elves. They barely spoke a word to chosen elves both scholars and nobles. No one has really guessed what really impressed the Powers, as they seemed to notice artists, craftsmen and others. Nimwen obviously looked at they, feeling overawed by the nobility of men and women in crowns made by flowers. She had failed to guess how Valar looked and behaved in own household, as in palace at the Taninquentil she noticed nothing previously expected.   
She was somehow transported to the marvelous garden. She left Vanyar place with her teacher Calanon and others, slowly progressing towards snowy forest. Strangely, Calanon ordered them not to bring coats. Nimwen had considered the elegant, dark gown as definitely not appropriate to wander around the woods covered in a white powder, but listened to the old Vanyar suggestions. “I hope we are not going to be frozen to death” – she thought. Concentrated on the forest, she barely noticed mysterious power, kind of a wind to transport them far, far away village of the Vanyar.   
The place resembled neither households by Noldor nor even Vanyar. Weird as is sounds, the light of the Two Trees seemed to came from below not above. Wind was blowing from all possible directions at once, but its touch was surprisingly pleasant. Smelt of flower appeared out of nowhere and made her smile. She looked around to notice where those flowers grown, but noticed nothing but yard of some exotic palace. The whole architecture seemed mysterious and somewhat strange, when compare to those made by elves.   
Strange, dark-haired maiden came out of nowhere. In the eye of Nimwen, she was one of the most beautiful and noble creatures in her dark, gauzy gown. No elleth looked resembled her, at least Maia may be so powerful and dignified. Young Noldo seemed completely enchanted and amazed by the meeting, desperately trying to guess who dark-haired maiden can be. It was only the beginning.   
‘Welcome to the Ilmarin’ – mysterious Maia said in the calm, deep voice – ‘please, follow me to the garden. You are expected’  
She said few words and exchanged gestures with Calanon. Nimwen almost immediately realized that he must have been invited to the palace several times. He glanced and looked carefully at his students and obediently followed the Maia, who elf has known for sure. Maiden smiled and ordered them to turn right.   
They were walking fast. Nimwen noticed light gallery decorated with fresco paintings. At the ceiling mysterious, definitely eons old landscapes were painted. They bypassed chambers of unknown role and finally arrived in the surprisingly cozy, green terrace or garden. Even the sky, enlighten by mysterious lights, differed from those down the Taninquentil peak. Nimwen noticed no other hills or anything but the sky and clouds.   
The beautiful garden, resembled those by Vanyar: flowers formed flowerbed, planted around the small pond. The atmosphere was so calm and dream-like to some extent, that young elleth took a deep breath. High tree of effused branches provided its own, delicate light. It looked so unexpected to the inexperienced eyes of Nimwen, that she almost asked a question. Nevertheless, she noticed another surprise.   
The average branch was standing below the tree. Two strangers were sitting and chatting, barely aware of the presence of guests. According to Nimwen, they were pair of the most beautiful elves. She noticed a man with the light, golden hair who hugged his female companion. Strange lady of hair as dark as night sky, was paying attention to her companion and smiling happily after whatever she has just heard. Nimwen looked at them in the silent admiration, not able to move or react.   
The pair seemed somehow familiar, but Nimwen got no idea where or when she has seen them last time. All of their mutual gestures, looks and silent whispers suggested nothing but a deep love between those two. Elleth took a deep sigh, as almost every time she noticed a couple in love. She tried to ask who they are, but Calanon ordered her to move after the Maia, not to stare. Their guide had asked them to stop and then made few more steps towards the mysterious pair.   
In the meantime, Nimwen looked at the woman sitting under a tree. She definitely noticed the most beautiful lady ever seen. Lady was wearing the narrow, fancifully decorated tiara, contrasting the blackness of the hair. Everything in her make her a great and powerful Queen, even if her gown seemed modest, when compared to richly decorated dresses by elvish princesses and nobles. The remarkable similarity between Lady and Maia suddenly caught the attention of Nimwen. They looked as if they were sisters of different ages, or maybe even mother and daughter. Pair eventually noticed the presence of the elves and gave them a sign to come closer.  
‘Calanon’ – Lady’s voice was soft and melodious - ‘Welcome back to our home. It is a pleasure to see your young companions’.  
‘Yes my Lady’ - answered Calanon, poking a frozen Nimwen, who was standing with a rather silly expression – ‘I selected my most promising and hardworking mentees. I must admit, I barely managed to tore them from the books, however but the opportunity to see your household was a temptation impossible to resist’ - he explained.  
‘Please, come closer’ – she answered and smiled warmly – ‘Mentees and charges to Calanon, are welcome as well obviously’.  
Nimwen needed time to guess who Calanon was talking to. She has seen them many times during the most important Festivals. Back them, both of them looked so different siting on the high table, in their flower crowns. She quickly covered her mouth in astonishment. How could she fail to recognize them? Obviously, now they seem different but still full of power and grandeur, even if less distant and haughty. The rating aura of overwhelming power surrounded them, and poor Nimwen barely prevent herself falling on her knees. She had remembered the words by Calanon, but it was a job which to brought her back to the reality. Young elleth finally realized who is Calanon talking to. Never ever in her life, has Nimwen imagined that the King and the Queen of Valar may resemble cordial and polite pair. In contrary, she rather though about cold and lofty Powers sitting on a magnificent throne. No, imagination fought picture rather large and lofty form on thrones.  
Calanon seemed neither frightened nor stunned. After a brief moment, she realized that he must had been invited to the palace several times before. The way he had talked with the Lord and Lady, completely surprised Nimwen. She had the impression as if he were talking rather to the family elders, but not terrifying King and Queen. Young elleth faced another surprise.   
‘Let me introduce Nimwen, the daughter of my very old friend‘- Calanon said pointing at her – ‘She is among my most hardworking mentees. As soon as I told had her about the Library, she started to beg me to bring her’.  
‘Are you interested in the books and scrolls from distant lands, young Noldo? Do you seek a knowledge about those of your kin, who remained in the Middle-earth *? - the melodious voice of the Valie was calm and cordial, but Nimwen quickly noticed it was impossible to guess emotions behind.  
‘Yes, Lady’ – she answered immediately, trying to keep in mind stories about the palace by Calanon – ‘I have heard several tales of the Middle-earth by older members of my kin. It was then. when I started to wonder if it is very different from Valinor. I am curious why some elves decided to stay and what kind of life they live. Last, but not least, it is a mystery what was the world before first of elves woke up’.  
‘You are asking a lot of questions young one’ - answered the Queen – ‘you resemble me of a child curious of the mysterious world beyond. Such desire for knowledge is a trait of any creature able to speak and think. What are you planning to do with acquired knowledge?  
‘It is a difficult, thus important question, Lady’ - answered Nimwen biting her lip – ‘As for now, I would like to learn more about the world and its inhabitants. At the beginning simply due to the pleasure of learning. I believe nevertheless, one day I may become a teacher myself. I have not decided yet’.   
‘Investigation and learning may a purpose itself’ - the reply was laconic.  
Nimwen could swear that she was carefully watched. She experienced not rudeness, but felt that each of responses were carefully listened and then evaluated. "Surely, I am not the only one begging for the access to the Library. It is obviously guests need to be cautiously selected”. She appreciated the fact, that whole discussion was polite and inspiring. Valar turned out to be a marvelous host, listening with interests to guest’s words and not interrupting. Nimwen almost immediately realized where the hospitality of Vanyar came from. Only Ingwë learned nothing, as his pride and pompously behavior of the High King was almost a legend among the elves. Fëanor for example many times mocking Ingwë. To make matters worse, his son Maglor wrote short and cutting poems. No one has ever accused the Fire Spirit** of not working hard or lacking of talent. Ingwë however considered working as the blacksmith as “having fun in the forge," and call such behavior as “plebeian”. Therefore, probably in response to harsh words by the High King, Fëanor and Maglor performed high-level and cutting art parodying the High King at the main square Tirion. Nimwen perfectly remember that day, standing in the palace Ingwë dwelt.  
The whole meeting proceeded in a polite, much less rigid than expected, atmosphere. Nimwen managed to control her shyness and even actively participate in the discussion. Elleth was talkative in nature, thus eagerly described her plans and answered plans. ‘Few Noldor is showing such a deep interest in poetry and spiritual arts’ - these words were the only comment to her presence among the Vanyar. Indeed, her people in general preferred action to poetry.  
‘We will consider your request young Nimwen’ – she heard as ‘good bye’. Nevertheless, she doubted if she would be ever allowed to visit the library, where books from distant lands were collected.  
xxxxxx  
The answer came soon afterwards. Elleth had cried out with a shock and sat reading the words of permission. For someone so deep in love in art and science, it was nothing but a promise to make dreams come true, the great feast of the spirit. It resembled situation when child is left alone in a candy stall. She did not consider her answers as convincing, but solely tried to explain frankly her interests and motives, but not trying to impress Valar. She answered all questions as deeply and sincere as possible.  
‘Congratulations my dear’ - Calanon was definitely pleased – ‘it is tricky to get permission to visit the Library. The request need to be really be well motivated’ - he explained.  
‘ It is then a miracle, that my request was approved’   
‘No, it is not like that’ – interrupted the elf – ‘King and Queen may seem distant, but are righteous and benevolent. They consider Noldor as high tempered, but this is only a trait in their opinion’   
‘But I spoke without much sense!’  
‘Nevertheless, you were honest and convicted, this only matters not orated robes. So many invited for the audience simply tend to forget! We tend to loose ability to discuss, which worries me deeply’   
‘ The are no shadows no evil here in Aman!’ - Nimwen protested.  
‘Don’t be naïve’ - Calanon waved – ‘shadows are lurking in everyone's heart, just as the light is. Each of us need to choose its side. Too much love for honors and pride one day will lead us to misery. To make matters worse, it is going to mar our relations with Powers. We, elves are starting to forget that we are not the rulers of Aman.’  
‘You know Valar really well’ - she noticed – ‘and ..’  
‘Only a little and as much as they introduced themselves to me’ - he explained – ‘no, I have never belonged to the group of Disciples if you ask me. I am not a kind of palace-elf. Do not take me wrong, the Ilmarin is marvelous place, but I prefer to meet other elves, especially elfings on a daily basis. Well, don’t look at me like this! Dress your best gown and seek the most fascinated books in the Library’.  
Nimwen did not need to be told twice. For a time being, she has been trying to learn more about the period before the awakening of the Elves. She had no idea if anyone has ever made any notes of such old ages, neither if there had been any kind of alphabet known already. The Library was the only possible place to seek for answers, even though task would not be trivial. On the other hand, nothing precious comes easy. Nimwen has never chosen the easiest paths.   
The task turned out to be much harder than she initially suspected. She was taken to the spacious, amazing chamber. The very high shelves seemed to be endless. Nimwen noticed no ceiling but rather a sky, much darker than the sky seen in households of Vanyar. Under the sky, or whatever was above the marble floor, elleth noticed sheets of papers, scrolls and books falling down to the selected place on shelves. She opened her mouth clearly amazed and charmed by this extraordinary place.  
Elleth almost jumped, when heard footsteps. She noticed the present of a brown-haired man, dressed in a long robe. He looked at Nimwen without any emotions and asked if any help was required. It was part of his duties as the Library keeper.   
‘Your request is unusual’ – answered the man – ‘Only a small group of elves has ever asked about such old records. We have the scrolls, but keep in mind, everything is not written in the language of Elves, but in the Valarin’  
‘Are there any translations available?’   
‘Only limited, as only words have been translated to Quenya. It is a difficult task to work with a foreign text without knowledge of the grammar of the language. I will deliver necessary materials, unfortunately only a few elves were keen to learn’  
She quickly got the keeper’s point. Indeed, only a few elves have ever tried to learn Valarin. Even cursory look as the text provided explanations. Words were very long with a fairly exotic accents. Nimwen doubted is she would be ever able to tell those words loudly without twisting her tongue. Elleth realized reading about ancient times would require a lot of hard work, of course only if she would be permitted to visit the Library long enough.

She found her place near one of the round tables. On the one side she put the original text in Valarin, whereas on other familiar notes in Quenya.’I need to discuss the issue with the linguist’ – she thought feeling tired of only thinking about the degree of the task’s difficulty. She was not discouraged in any way. ‘If I manage to translate this text to Quenya, I will make it more accessible for other". Nimwen dreamed about being a scholar, whereas every scholar wants writings to be used.   
She neither noticed how the time passed by the changing time of day, nor the mysterious figures watching her while reading. Both parents and Calanon used to joke, she could have been taken outside, while reading and took not notice. It was not a surprise, she failed to realized remarkably nimble persons. The world really ceased to exist, while she was reading. Figures standing in a distance said nothing, but looked at her with caution. They stood in a distance, not because they tried to hide anything, wanted only to watch without distraction.  
Nimwen hardly believed her luck seeing information about the possibility of re-enter the Library in order to further work on the translation. ‘Few elves have ever showed interest in elder days. Even less ever tried to learn our speech. If you are not discouraged by the lack of translation Nimwen of Noldor, feel free to continue its demanding work’. She jumped with joy very anxious to read a little more about the mysterious island known as Almaren as well as the days prior the Awakening of the Elves. Calanon congratulated her and asked to show him his notes later. "I have a little knowledge in languages, but I can make words and sentences nice. Let us make your translation   
‘Do you need a water or wine?’ – a mysterious, female voice almost came from nowhere.   
Nimwen was working hard on a difficult sentence. There were barely a few written rules of the Valarin. Translations into Sindarin or Quenya were even skimpier. All of this made her work difficult. Nimwen turned toward the source of the voice. To the amazement, she noticed Maia met in the very first visit was standing nearby.  
‘No, thank you’ - said Nimwen – ‘I am sorry, but I cannot remember your name Lady, my memory is poor when it comes to names’ .  
‘I am Ilmarë’ – Maia answered – ‘don’t be so nervous, I am not upset’ - she assured – ‘ You are working on a ambitious translation’ - she glanced at the book.  
‘ You can speak Valarin, can’t you?’ - asked Nimwen.  
‘I speak Valarin, but teaching is not among my duties’ - she explained – ‘I am not patient enough I guess. But you Nimwen, you managed to impress my Wardens, by your persistence and hard work. Long years have passed, since they authorized any elf with such wide access to the Library. I want to congratulate you’.  
‘Thank you very much for your kindness. As for this work, I assume it is a part of the trial?’ - she pointed at the book – ‘ I remember Calanon had told us to rewrite sentences and perform various tasks, before he became our teacher. He later explained, that he needed to be sure, we have the patience and perseverance. Let me guess, the previous elf made bad use of the knowledge?’  
‘Yes’ - Ilmarë nodded - ‘knowledge by itself is neither good or bad. It is eventual usage that defines it. You know well that the Herbology for example allows you to create both cure and poison. Our previous guest, Finwë unfortunately came with his oldest son. Fëanor was patient and dedicated to his work, but also very proud. Therefore, we need to be cautious’.   
‘I see’- answered Nimwen – ‘my teacher Calanon offered me help with writing and style’.  
‘I am sure he will be a great help’ - Ilmarë assured her- ‘He used to visit us once, but he has never became a Disciple. I believe to become a teacher himself’.  
Nimwen opened her mouth in disbelief. Being selected as the Disciple by one of the Valar was considered a great honor and distinction. Such person, and the closest family, almost immediately received high status in the community, lower only than the royal family. Mahtan, creating his works following suggestions by Aulë himself, enjoyed high esteem not only by Noldor, but also other elves. Ingwë offended him deeply by calling him "the commoner". Fëanor went furious when hear such about his father in law: Ingwë behaved badly towards him and Nerdanel. Finwë made a prickly comment, that the memory of the High King was even shorter then hair of his youngest grandson, as he became a High King only due to his temporal status of the Disciple and perhaps kind of a friend to Manwë, before the bitter argument that ended their relation. ‘We shall praise the patience of the Elder King, who still tolerate those individual in his household. Moreover, there are no guard dogs outside his palace’- Finwë used to say. He never forgave former friend bitter words about his firstborn. Poor Indis had a thankless task to stand between her husband and uncle, who while being together in the same room seemed to jump at each other eyes with claws.  
Rumors obviously reached Nimwen’s ears, as Fëanor openly criticize those disliked. His stepmother’s relative occupied a prominent position on the list. Ingwë obviously answered in the similar manner, by sending cutting messengers. As usual, this type of correspondence soon became a became common knowledge.  
xxxxxx  
Nimwen spent the consecutive weeks working with the text. Interestingly, in those better times, the words "may you in a time of change" was not curse. There was no danger, nothing to be afraid of. Only a few realized, that Melkor was to leave his prison. He spent centuries imprisoned in the Halls of Manos for his crimes. Elves too easily forgotten shadows from Utummo. Name of Melkor caused no fear then, not among elves of the Blessing Realm. No one really realized how dark and cold heart of powerful Vala become and how much he hated everyone.   
Elleth put a little attention to the current events, being much more interested in ancient texts. Even though she considered they ways of selecting prospective Disciples by preaching to them to work on tedious translation as bizarre and a bit quirky she kept her opinions to herself. It is rude to criticize someone else’s habits in this person household.   
Suddenly she realized that the stranger entered the Library. She almost squeaked when noticed Maglor one of the sons of Fëanor. Back then, Finwë got a friendly and proper relationships with anyone, except for Ingwë. High King of Noldor somehow acquired the admission to the Library for his grandson. Finwë wanted his gentle and musically talented grandson to become one of the Disciples.   
‘Maglor is a wise and sensitive elf’ - argued Finwë with a confident voice – ‘He will never misuse the knowledge acquired. What the dreams most about is to seek for the inspiration for his songs’.  
‘I got your point’- Varda answered cordially- ‘We have always supported poets and those interested in the spiritual matters. We are looking forward to hear his new songs’  
‘Thank you the most beautiful among beauties’- answered the elf – ‘I am sure, that my grandson will appreciate your kindness’.  
Nimwen looked carefully at the dark-haired elf, but it was his robes rustling, that woke her up. She was biting her pen form frustration, while cursing the deficit of helpful dictionaries or texts by Rúmil. Even if the great linguist and scholar has tried to learn Valarin, he left nothing useful. The presence of handsome, tall elf made her forget the frustration. Mature tall, handsome elf, whose view had to forget for a moment of frustration.  
The stranger seemed to be much more lost than her. She welcomed him with a smile and he replied with the same. Nimwen reacted intuitively, as a talkative person always keen to chat. Moreover, it was unusual for Noldor to wander so far away Tirion.  
‘Who are you young elleth?’ - he asked.  
‘I am Nimwen, you caught me while working on translation’ – she pointed books – ‘Who are you noble elf?’  
‘I am Maglor son of Fëanor’ - he explained - ‘This place is amazing; I could write a poem about the power of knowledge one day. It is fascinating to see all the books have ever written since the beginning of the world! – his eyes flashed.  
‘If I can offer you a word of advice Maglor, maybe Vanyar can help you in your poetry? They are most skilled in the poetry among all elves’   
\- I was with them, but they are fairly locked besides not like my family - he explained.  
‘I have spoken to them, but their society is closed. To make matters worse my family has a bad relation with them’- Maglor explained.   
Nimwen nodded quickly, while recalling almost hostile relations between Fëanor and his stepmother. Rumors were spreading around whole Tirion. They kept talking several minutes. Elleth told him a lot about her teachings and living among Vanyar. She obviously mentioned building snow castles and overall fun.  
She guessed that reasons for Maglor to spent his time in the palace were similar to hers. Nimwen guessed he probably wanted to become a Disciple himself. After years of living among Vanyar she developed the taste and knowledge to evaluate arts. Maglor shared his newest piece of poetry with her and was definitely very proud of his work. In the meantime, he also trembled, while waiting for the reaction of the recipient. Elf possessed a great talent for poetry and songs and might become the greatest singer of Noldor once. She wished him best, as she had no reason not to did so.  
xxxxx  
‘I was not an appropriate candidate for a Disciple’ - explained Calanon – ‘Ilmarë is a talkative even as for Maia, or maybe simply acts as a messenger’.  
‘Why do you considered yourself as not appropriate? You are hardworking and wise!’  
‘Thank you my Nimwen. I am happy you perceive me in that way. Moreover, I would like to be considered as friendly and open-minded. Does it make me an ideal candidate for the Disciple? To some extend yes, but you must know that Valar, at least most of them, treat Disciples is similar way as elder members of the family consider young ones or the way we consider children. Do you understand?’ - he asked and continued, when noticed her puzzled look – ‘I have never been looking for a teacher, who would also have treated me like a child. I guess, I have always wanted to be such a figure for others.’  
‘You are such and will always be ‘- she assured – ‘In my opinion, it is a privilege and great happiness to have both mentor and warden’.  
‘I have guessed your attitude some time ago’ - he nodded – ‘It makes you someone with all the traits Valar appreciate: diligence, curiosity about the world, but also combined with the delicacy and strong need for guidance. Believe me, you would not be granted such a wide access to the Library, unless considered as the prospective Disciple’   
Nimwen has always considered Calanon as an enigma. From time to time, he has spoken really surprising words or has performed such gestures. He has rarely spoken about his past, definitely not happy with any attempt to start discussion. He valued his privacy very high, talking reluctantly about past evens. Even Nimwen, one of his closest, knew a little.  
Other Vanyar told her, Calanon was among the firsts to arrive in Aman. Perhaps he was among first elves to awoken at shoes of the lake Cuiviénen. Those pairs used to be treated as elders, natural leaders for both families and entire groups. This tradition continued for a short time after arriving in Aman.  
It was Ingwë, chosen as the Disciple by Manwë himself, who efficiently deprived elders from its power as the High King of the Elves. "We are not mindless children any more, but the chosen nation. As such, we must have a mature leadership" - he used to say. He successfully convinced others to selected him as a leader. The position of the Elder King Disciple was among strongest arguments. Nimwen noticed sorrow in the voice of Calanon and suspected he must have been somehow involved. Elleth got enough tact not to ask nosy questions. Maybe she was young, according to the standards of elves, but reasonable!  
‘It is impossible for me...’ – Nimwen was smiling, even if her words were skeptical.  
‘Do not tease me. You also need to know Valar by their nature are caring and this usually lead to overprotective behavior in more closed relationship as for friendship tor example. Keep in mind, that elves are not the only ones capable to feel. Keep in mind’- the voice sounded like a warning – ‘even with their wisdom and nobility, they tend to offer a limited number of second chances. If they ever considered as a treason, forgiveness is tough. The case of Ingwë demonstrates well, how fierce their anger may be. Once he became very proud and start to consider himself as someone nobler than other Elves, he was quickly turned from Disciple into troublesome tenant. Now, he is desperately trying to catch attention of his former Mentor. How little he understands the beings, in whose households he dwells!’.  
‘You know them very well’.  
‘As I mentioned, I know only as deep as they had introduced themselves. Anyway, Valar have never attempted to hide their intentions or expectations. They treat prospective Disciple in the same manner and they are not going to be angry if elf chooses not to become one. The detailed explanation of our motives is much better, than attempts to use their teachings and friendship to gain honors as Ingwë did. The Star Queen has asked me once, if I would like to become her Disciple. I really admired her wisdom and kindness, but have never looking for a warden. I guess I was too old then, but you are younger’.  
Not much more has been said, but she got a point. Calanon definitely was trying rather to become a teacher himself but not a disciple. Nimwen knew, that she was granted regular invitations to the palace, which proved how well relations he maintained. As for her, she would be extremely happy to be asked such question. She developed a very warm relationship with Calanon, as he was looking for the mentor and warden, while he was willing to become one. Despite whole the discussion, she wasn’t sure if King or Queen could even choose her as the Disciple among all elves wishing to become one. she did not think she would, all other elves wishing to become students of the, was chosen. Nimwen, possessing a huge portion of self-criticism, considered herself as too average.  
* As we know Doriath existed in the Years of Trees, moreover Avari elves were living their lives there. I assumed they must have had some kind of written communication.


End file.
